Hello again everyone! This post is called haggard times because I have spent the last few months in a robe looking and feeling not the greatest lol but that is to be expected I guess. So let’s start from the beginning…
This was my hair appointment
My fight against looking haggard began here. lol didn't make a difference but it felt good to know I was trying.
Shelly was here
Shelly came two weeks before my due date and then the whole time we were just in this waiting game which was terrible. But it was very helpful to have her here to take care of Cooper because I felt like trash.
This was us trying on sunglasses in the Kohls
We were swimming like every day in the evening after dinner for the three weeks until Kinley was born and now they have to do that without me.
Shelly was a lot more brave with the heat than I was. She would take him for walks in the morning and I pretty much have stayed inside for the last few months. It’s not worth it to me lol
We got him moon sand and he likes it
This was toddler time at the library they do that every Monday morning
Books before bed
We got a pedicure and it was amazing
They used hot stones and rubbed grapefruits on our legs!
I got really depressed near the end (and sometimes I feel like I’m still depressed), but getting out of the house really helps I’ve noticed. So we went to an aquarium in Tempe and it was really fun. It was nice to see Cooper excited about some thing and not throwing tantrums and then it was good for me to be able to walk around. I haven’t been able to go on walks because it’s too hot outside
He got to touch some stuff! I forget what but he thought it was cool!
He did so good for his haircut! No tears and held still! All it takes is a dum dum to bribe him! 😂
Just like all parents everywhere, we have had the battle from screen time to not take over his life. But it’s very tempting we have so much going on. He’s perfectly happy when he’s watching the screen times we have to use it because it physically do it all
He is so good at talking, counting, saying the alphabet, and understanding what we say. He’s so grown up!
More toddler time at the library. He does so good when we’re in public. He only throws tantrums at home so I wish we could be out and about constantly.
Another attempt to get out after a bad day. He was instantly happy in his favorite place. I wasn’t because everything hurt and I felt like I was dying but hey what else is new lol
4th of July!
We got some fireworks and it helped to lift my spirits to feel like we celebrated and had something going on for once lol
Cooper loved it. He would clap and say yay and say happy! Haha
We got a duck on our Jeep again so I passed it on
Dallin went to a conference in Vegas for insurance and he learned a lot
They all wore these things around their necks with the QR code so that they didn't have to carry business cards when they were "networking" (such a crazy grown up word to be using lol ) and they could just scan it and you have all the other person's info. So cool! This is a picture with Stewart his coworker. They had a good time.
This was our official Father’s Day picture. I was sad the 2nd kid couldn’t be in it too
Pregnancy is for the birds
(I'm not sure if I used that expression correctly because I've never used it before. But what I'm trying to say is that I'm not a fan of it lol )
I was seriously so upset in the last month or so. I didn’t understand why they wouldn’t let me just get induced and get it over with. I was not that fun to be around because I did nothing but lay around and wait. No job to distract me and staying in my house all the time because it’s too hot and i got all lonely and weird. I also just couldn’t sleep and felt like crap. It also didn’t help that I looked like this… I know that’s how you’re supposed to look but I still felt like an ugly whale. And since I don’t leave ever I don’t get ready so…. Thus the title of this post. Haggard.
So I would try to go to the rec center and walk sometimes and I drop cooper off at this play place there while I walk. He would cry for a few minutes at first and act like me leaving him was cruel torture and then by the time I come back he doesn’t want to leave. Lol
I was wearing my fake ring since my wedding ring is too small for my fat fingers. And then to make matters worse my fat ring didn’t even fit anymore!! I put it on my pinky while I was walking and even that got to be too tight and then I was half amused and half depressed.
This was Dallin playing with him to help ease the transition of dropping him off
The transformation that only one year can make is incredible! Cooper seemed to lose his belly and I seemed to gain mine lol
Dallin was so nice and so supportive the whole time despite me being horrible to deal with. He painted my toes and picked up anything I couldn’t and calmed me down after every breakdown.
I wanted Dallin to get a taste of what I was going through so we tried the watermelon thing. Definitely not the same but it was entertaining at least.
Shelly watched cooper so we could go on a date
And this is an accurate picture of what I have looked like pretty much every day since the beginning of June. (Even now as I write this I look the exact same lol)
That’s the outward appearance of my inward thoughts like this…
I went out to dinner by myself with Tina and immediately felt like a new woman! Lol it felt like I actually had a life of my own again that wasn’t just taking care of kids and cleaning
I went and got a massage every week. In addition to miles circuit, spinning babies, every “induce labor yoga” video on YouTube, eating dates, tinctures, pills, sideways stairs, 3 membrane sweeps, squats, the pressure points, etc. you name it- I tried it. And I can tell you that it’s all a load of hogwash and none of it works and they’re all lies lol you’re kidding yourself if you think u can make a baby come in anyway.
My favorite date ever
Okay this restaurant is to die for and you have to try it. I think it has to be top 3 for me in my whole life. It was so amazing.
It was breathtakingly beautiful. Everywhere we looked it was stunning. We ate outside by the misters were so good we weren’t hot at all. It looked like a secret garden out there. And all the waiters were sommelier’s!
It’s a typical Arizona summer. So we stay inside unless we’re swimming.
newborn photoshoot
We did our own newborn pictures again because it worked out so good the first time. And it was really easy and we got some killer pictures! I love it when it’s free but looks just as good! I also enjoy it and the editing part I find very satisfying.
So this was our set up in the front room. I got her the outfits and the blanket to use as a backdrop a long time ago so I was super excited to use it finally.
They turned out so good!
We also did some with all of us in the backyard the next day. Again it was super chill and we didn't try that hard. We don't have a ton of energy to care these days lol But all things considered I think they turned out pretty good. Coop did not want to be taking pictures that's for sure...
Life with "Kin Kin"
We are sooo in love. We have been able to enjoy this time 10 times more with her than we did with cooper because we were both just so anxious the whole time with him. It has been a life saver having Shelly my mom and Tom here to help because it has definitely been a lot of work. Waking up in the night is hard when u have a toddler demanding attention all day. And we wanted cooper to still feel important after she was born too so it’s been busy.
Jake seems indifferent toward her but Sadie loves her so much. She follows her around, licks her when she cries, gets up on the chair to look in the crib, gets up with us for every night feeding, etc. It reminds me of how Josie was with cooper. It’s really cute.
Cooper has slowly been getting more and more used to her. He was really over the moon excited at first and then had times of hating sharing the attention. Whenever she cries he starts crying too. It’s kindof cute but also heartbreaking because he’s so concerned about her. He usually tries to stop his own tear by closing his eyes and if we can’t get her to stop crying fast then his will start. But he likes to check on her and share his toys with her. For the most part he really likes her. It’s probly only 15% of the time that he says “kin kin out” while we’re holding her. (Or he’ll say “go away” or kin kin go night night)
We’ve also had more people here to give him attention too so that has helped. It will be hard for him at times when it’s just me by myself with both kids. (I am so scared for that time to come😱)
Dallin and I took him to uptown jungle without her when she was only 5 days old so that he could have some undivided attention from both of us and he seemed really happy.
Dallin and him have to go swimming without me now because I’m not allowed to swim for 6 weeksOne of my depressed days we went to chick fil a and it really boosted my mood!
Kaylynn, Kaden, Calvin and Melanie came and they went to uptown jungle together with my mom and Tom and cooper. They said cooper and Melanie were besties
All the cousins together
Kaden really liked holding Kinley it was cute
Tom visited for a few days and it was really helpful for cooper to have another person to play with because Dallin went back to work half days to extend his paternity leave.
He went to bass pro shops with my mom and Tom too
This is me holding her while I pump. (Getting it from the source was not her jam so I got a wearable pump and some days I don’t mind it and others I hate it.)
We literally could not have survived without all the help we have gotten. And Dallin's parents come next! I'm so grateful. (And scared for the future when I think about doing it on my own...)
This was her first bath!
When cooper wants to hold her we say ok put your arms out and he puts both arms up straight over his head hahaha not what we meant but it’s too cute to want to correct him
I have loved getting to dress her up in the cute girl clothes
Dallin and I got out by ourselves while Tom and my mom stayed home and we went to the Thor movie with Josh. It was so nice to feel human again! He came over for dinner on Thursday and cooper was so happy to see him again and even the next day he was asking for Josh to come over again haha it was cute
When she was born
She was born at 40 weeks 5 days and it only took about 3 hours from start to finish. The whole thing went really fast and pretty much everything went smoothly. So her official full name is McKinley Jo Graff and she was 8 pounds 9 ounces and 19 inches long. Dallin got to pick the middle name this time because I pretty much did last time. Once again dallin was the perfect support person and I could not have done it without him.
We had to stay in the hospital for longer this time so Dallin was sad he had to deal with the chair they call a bed. Why do they do that to the poor dads? Why can’t they just give them a real bed if they know they have to sleep there?!
This was coopers reaction when we brought her home
These two videos are pixelated because iPhone and Samsung phones can’t cooperate but they’re still adorable
leaving the hospital pictures
This was our attempt at getting a cute picture in the hospital and as you can see it was a total flop... I didn't realize that outfit was made for like 6 month olds! lol it's huge!
The recovery afterward was so painful and I pretty much just laid there feeling like I was dying for 3 days. After that I could barely function but still everything hurt always. But it slowly got better everyday and I have decided based on how hard this year has been that we are officially done having kids.lol They're amazing and I love them but I can barely keep up as it is.
Shelly was only here for 3 days after Kinley was born and the majority of it was before so she didn’t get to know her as well as she did Cooper, but this was her pic with both kids before she left to go back to North Dakota
cute Cooper
This is him saying fork. I just thought it was cute
This is him sneaking up behind daddy with water to surprise attack him haha it’s so cute when he’s trying to be mischievous but all the water is spilling as he’s walking
This is him dancing at music classUptown jungle fun!
Running through the sprinkler outside
It blows my mind how grown up he already acts and how much he understands.
Crazy hair day
His face is so funny turning off and on the light
Nona and paw got him these and he loved it!
My dad sent me flowers again to congratulate us for baby kin kin! I was so surprised and happy! I love them!
Nona and paw got him these and he loved it!
Going to a meeting with dad
We thought it was cute at first because he said he was playing on pompa’s honk honk but then we remembered that the pool equipment is covered in fiberglass and he was not a happy camper for the next day or so lol
He has been getting a little better lately with the tantrums. But boy when they hit they are rough. I don't get how people handle the toddler stage... sometimes I can do it and sometimes I think I'm going to lose my mind.
Tired boys
Cooper loves watching Disney plus. He will basically allow us to watch any musical now. (Thankfully because I thought if I saw Moana one more time I was going to die.)
This was jakey’s 11th birthday celebration! We went to petsmart and got him treats and toys
And Cooper really liked being the one to give them both the treats
Cooper calls fish "shish" lol
This was us going to get her newborn screening and shots and stuff
Omg so cute
When I sit on the chair everyone has to sit on the same chair with me even though there are other chairs available lol every dog and kid and me piled up in one chair
Well I guess that's finally all. That was a really long post! It took me like 4 days to do this! But the end of the story is that I am so glad to be where we are today because the last couple months have been so rough and it's finally looking up. Now all we have to do is get through a cross-country move with a toddler and newborn and it's smooth sailing'! 😅 Oh boy here we go! haha that's life for ya. Never can be too easy can it? We'll keep you updated on how it all goes in the next post!
