Yes, it's exactly what you thought it was going to be when you read that title.
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Just to be clear- I wanted a kid but I've just always had a phobia of pregnancy. So read on knowing that I am excited for the end result and just struggling to deal with the reality of what it takes to get there. I have been really grateful for our friends and family being so understanding of this and not judging me or forcing me to talk about it- everyone has been really great about it.
Oh and other side note- this post is covering the end of August, September, October, and half way through November because literally everything that can go wrong with technology did go wrong. It was like the universe did not want me to blog because nothing was working. So I am really glad we got it all fixed.
First ultrasound where everyone else usually cries of joy but I just sat there in complete denial like, "Na it's probably just a bite of my burger from earlier."
I was in denial for about 16 weeks. (Actually, a strong argument could be made that I am still in denial to some degree now.) I know that we are so lucky because we haven't lost it like so many do, but I have been petrified for several reasons. So I remind myself that we are lucky and just take it one day at a time because if I think anything beyond 1 day I go into a panic spiral and can't sleep. Anyway, I kind of had to come out of my denial at least a little bit because people wanted to talk about it. Speaking of that, I already know what you're going to say, so I have included a frequently asked questions section for your reading convenience.
FAQ
(All questions are preceded by the person trying to nonchalantly stare at my gut to see if it's bigger. lol which I totally get because I used to do that too)
1. "When are you due?" April 3, 2020
2. "Are you like SO excited?!" At first no, (difficult to be excited about something you fear with all of your soul while you are simultaneously puking your brains out) now I am, yes.
3. "Do you know the sex?" Boy
4. "How are you feeling?" Like crap usually
5. "Do you have any names yet?" Yeah but it's hard to decide. We like Hudson, Cooper, Carter, Alex, Jackson
6. "Are you still going to work?" Yes
Now for the middle school section
7. "Have you had the baby yet?" That's not how it works
8. "Are you going to name it after me?" Definitely not
It's 2019 people
In this day and age why wait when you can know the sex right away? I took the blood test hoping it would make it more real for me and found out it was what I wasn't hoping for....lol Good bye dreams of tutus and bows.
My parents didn't even believe that was possible. The wonders of technology! Anyway, G and I were hoping to make it more fun by going and picking out clothes and it did help a lot. And by now I'm over it and it doesn't bother me that it's a boy.
I wasn't able to tell Dallin in a cutesy way in the first place because I came home early from work puking so he saw right through it and I just threw the test at him in the bathroom. He says we need to change that story for posterity cuz it's so anticlimactic, so here's the fake version of the story.
I took Dallin on a magical hot air balloon ride at sunset and had the birds all fly in formation to spell out "You're going to be a dad." 😆
Anyway to make it more special for him I surprised him with the sex. I put the clothes in this bag and had him open it.
Here is his reaction
We are excited for a cool little dude to celebrate holidays with, watch play sports, and go on adventures. My favorite parts about boys are how funny, non-dramatic, and energetic they are. So, as much as this process freaks me out it will all be worth it. And we've been blessed that we've had no complications & the timing lines up perfectly with summer break.
I took these pictures and then when I tried to take others after that I just felt really bad about myself and fat as a whale so I decided I'm not going to be able to do that. lol
I took these pictures and then when I tried to take others after that I just felt really bad about myself and fat as a whale so I decided I'm not going to be able to do that. lol
week 8
first ultrasound appointment (I'm squinting because I'm thinking "that's a person? looks more like a white blob on a black screen....")
The kids I already have
Aren't they cute?
Fancy socks Friday at school!
My seasonal mantle
I'm going to start changing the mantle every month so that it has something different for that season. August was back to school month! I just love decorations with all my heart.
It's football time!
One game at a time is apparently not enough
The first packers game
Us watching football in the locker room at lunch
Wedding hair
This was me practicing doing my hair for jill's wedding
Girls day
Nails and a french restaurant that made me sick but so worth it for those crepes :)
The other thing you never thought we would do
We cook now!
Yes that's right. Together we make things. The top picture is either blueberry muffins or egg scramble in the oven (can't remember)
Theirs on the left, ours on the right.
my sweet students 💜
I take these pictures to help remind myself on the bad days of all the good reasons to teach. The funny part about this is that I got a bunch of bad feedback that was not constructive in front of a coworker and one of the things that they claimed was that the students don't respect me. This kind of stuff reminds me that they don't know what they're talking about. I talked to them again to get more specific info about where I can improve, and then decided to apply some of the feedback that I felt could have some merit to it and then don't dwell on it and move on. It was really hard though, and I totally cried the whole way driving home. But ever since I have been doing really good with having a good attitude and trying to make changes for me and not because I was forced to by someone else.
We did a combined birthday party for 2 of the students in my class and mine and played just dance.
The difference between girls and boys
This is the boys in the morning (Jake and Dallin)
This is us girls in the morning. Jojo always gets up with me and Jake never does.
Practicing the drone
We went up to the river to practice the drone a few times before the wedding because our house is a no fly zone. It was relaxing for me- I just sit there and enjoy a drink while dallin does all the hard work. But he was super into it, he kept watching videos and reading about it and then going back to practice more. He was very dedicated.
Trip to the Nursery
We went to buy a tree. We didn't yet because of the cost of the bathroom we wanted to be safe and wait, but it was a super cool experience. You feel like you're in jurassic park and the guy was so knowledgable and gave us a tour. They have wild peacocks and chickens walking around there too.
Cardinals Game!
We went and it was so fun! (besides the far walk in and out for parking) We were hoping for a win and didn't get one. But to me watching the game, the fun atmosphere, the drunk funny guy sitting by us, my chair cushion, and all the food I got was the best.
Doctor's appointment
This was us at another doc appointment. I was getting proud of myself for not being scared of going to the appointments anymore so we took a picture. Dallin has been so beyond sweet to me throughout all of this. Even though I know that it's irrational, he never makes fun of my fear, he does anything for me, and he never misses an appointment.
More dogs
Mornings in the beautiful weather now that it's not hot here anymore
Josie would not let go of her toy with her arms and I thought it was funny
My 29th Birthday!
The saturday before i went with my girl friends on a spa day. We went to first watch for breakfast, then we got massages, and then we got nails. It was all of my favorite things in one! This place is so cool, you don't have to take your clothes off, you can all lay together, and it's like foot-zoning and massage at the same time. They do your feet but also the rest of your body too and it's only like 30 bucks!
We went to scottsdale and first went to the montauk.
Then we rode scooters around, and then we went to maple and ash. It was an amazing night. I loved getting alone time with dallin, eating great food, and riding scooters. We were trying all new places and they were both amazing. Maple and ash really surprised us because of how fancy it was but still with great prices. Their service is excellent. These are pictures of maple and ash. It's beautiful
This was us riding scooters around. (I miss my stomach area being that size)
October!
This was the cute bulletin board & door
This was one of the fun lessons for Dance 1. They got in groups and had to choreograph and include all of these words and they liked it.
Fall Nails
October Mantle & door
So True....
Hair touch up before Illinois
Girls Night!
We ate, did masks, and crafted- it was so fun and I love that they are my friends. I don't know what I would do without them.
My cutie pies :)
Illinois Part One
It was taking too long to move all the Illinois pictures into one section so you're getting them in 2. It was fun getting to see my family. Dallin practicing the drone for the wedding video, the cute lights on the barn, and one of our pre-wedding duties was walking Jill's dog.
Me and Sheryl (that woman seriously put in 18 hour days for that wedding... )
Nail salon with the bridal party and Aunt Lisa
At a bar the night before the wedding. It was good getting to see Bucky again
playing darts was fun
Me and Jeff's girlfriend actually won!
Meanwhile, Jess, Lyle, and Phin were hanging out with Jake and Jo. She sent us lots of funny pictures. We missed them so much!
Family dinner
Halloween!
Dallin's mom sent them these shirts :)
Josh Visits from Canada
Brian was here that first night too!
This is me overcome with joy because Dallin surprised me with a cookie zookie
Hargis Halloween Party
This was so fun!
Here are the speakers in action
We took him to a movie in scottsdale and then got gelato
Him and Dallin enjoyed the weather together during the day because it's really cold where he's from.More work stuff
Isn't this such a cool picture!?
Hotel Graff
I just thought this photo was funny because we came back from Illinois, Josh came the next day, then Aubrey the day Josh left, then Renee and Bodie, and then Shelly the same day Aubrey left. haha so all the suitcases kind of captures that at once. It has been really fun and action-packed. Which in my current condition is probably better to have a distraction.
Halloween
More of the Dogs on Halloween. I was by myself, so I just watched Halloween town and handed out candy to the 4 people who came lol
Clearlink San Diego Trip
Dallin went in October before Illinois and he said it was really fun. His team won the volleyball tournament!
Winners! (He was SO sore the next day) lol
Dallin's 31st Birthday
We went to dinner and then went on a shopping spree! haha
It was a really good time. Dallin got mostly clothes and camera equipment for his birthday. He wanted a gimbal and a new lens.
Our beautiful AZ weather. It's like 78 ish now
Dallin's Utah Visits
Dallin has been going back and forth to Utah for work and home. It's been off and on every other week and I hate it. But it's because they need help up there and it will only be that way through the end of December so I'm trying to buck up. Anyway on one of his many visits he saw Matthew and Kensley's halloween costume was harry potter so he sent it to me. He also told me about this cool virtual reality game that he played there.
More Dog Stuff
Me and Jake, and this dog that a girl snuck into the school haha it really boosted my mood that day because it was such a sweet dog
Nick & G
Game night and a lunch date out in Gilbert
Illinois Pictures Part 2
She got us bridesmaids all matching rompers to get ready in
This was the rehearsal
Jakey hurt his arm
Its really red and inflamed and he won't stop licking it so we wrapped it for a week or so. He kept taking it off, so we took him to the vet. They shaved it, gave him a steroid shot and a cone, and we put this stuff on it twice a day. (He probly got bit by something and made it worse by licking it)
Jordan playing video games on a broken chair lol
Aubrey's Visit
It was so nice seeing her again, it had been so long. We had a lot of fun! We got our nails done, saw Melissa, went shopping, went to desert botanical gardens, the olive mill, and the farmers market.
The butterfly part was so cool
farmers market
olive mill
We got rain and a rainbow!
That's a cool event here because it is always sunny lol
The craziest looking sky!
Recently I eat like a line backer but work out like a couch potato. So I will probably look like a whale by the end of this.
Bathroom Renovation
This was us picking out the tub
Friendsgiving!
This was so much fun, I love my friends. It's really important since we don't have family close to have a strong sense of community and good friendships otherwise you feel isolated really quick. Dallin wanted to go but couldn't because he got sick, and then within a few days he gave it to me (that was nice of him). #remembertheturkey
Thanksgiving Decor
This is my favorite bulletin board so far. I really really love it.
Jake doesn't understand what's in the fireplace
He's like, "what is that? It's not fire, but it looks like fire. Maybe I should keep smelling it to see if I can figure it out."
More pictures of the kid
Whoever came up with this technology is a genius. I was so proud of myself that I didn't even freak out when we were there. I was mostly focused on how badly I needed to pee.
this is a shot from the butt/legs up so you can see the male part there in the middle
Cute/Thoughtful/Sweet Students
Aren't these the cutest notes? This is what motivates me to be a better teacher. Not someone yelling at me that I suck. lol
And then there are the "exciting" parts.... lol the times when they're not angels. A kid slapped another kid across the face, a kid was sitting on a rolling chair and another kid pushed it as hard as he could into the mirror so it broke, and other kid picked someone up by their hood and threw them into the wall..... just a day in the life at middle school.
This is what the athletic department does during faculty meeting...
We celebrated our salsa unit by eating chips and salsa. One girl in my class is only in 8th grade and already has her own salsa business!
First time getting a flu shot and I am not a fan. It did nothing besides make me sick for a week. So isn't that the opposite of the point? And also it only protects you from 4 of the thousands of strains of the flu. I didn't think it was worth it.
Doggie Day at the Desert Botanical Gardens
We went with Jess and G and took all of our dogs! It was soooo much fun!
Afterwards they were so dirty we had to give them baths and this was Jojo all wet after her bath lol
I guess that's it! Hopefully we can get all of these phone-to computer-connection problems figured out so that I don't have to go through the tedious process that I did this time. Happy Holiday Season!
